a transitional age

I am 21 years old, and in no way am I treated like a child in the other areas of my life. But it wasn't until I began work here that I really began to understand my age and the duality of youth and maturity within it. Within such a transitional age as 21, there is a lovely dichotomy between childish play and adult responsibility. Many places or experiences would try to create a tension between the two contending halves, but here at Wendover and FNS, this tension has been replaced by celebration and clarity. While the day of a courier, and therefore the lifestyle of courier, is often described as reduced to an easy simplicity, I have found this easy simplicity to be wonderfully complicated. FNS and the staff at Wendover allow us couriers to fully realize and exercise our adult capabilities; we are trusted to get the most out of our days, fulfill our commitments, and turn the fan on when we cook at the stove. This understanding that we will be self-motivated and also responsible to ourselves and our surroundings helps me remember that I am in fact a young woman and no longer a child. Yet, there is a playfulness and comfort found at Wendover and FNS that leaves room for execution of hobbies, games, splashing in the river, and the provision of support should we seek it. Never before have I lived in a community that fully recognizes and extracts both sides of my age. There is an incredibly fantastic depth to my life right now; I wake and put on my uniform, and face my day with the knowledge and understanding that while I am here to learn for my own benefit, I am also, if not more so, here to make myself available to whatever and whomever. But then at around quarter after four, I pull back into the drive of Wendover, and my professional side sheds itself to reveal its youthful counterpart. The day, very much so still young, becomes our own to explore.

It would be facetious of me to suggest that between the two adjacent halves of 21 the is no overlap. The glory and suprise and joy of each day comes in finding the give and take between the two sides. It is wonderful when it is your childish demeanor or youth that affects a patient or allows you to fully tackle an assignment. Similarly, it is wonderful when adult moments of the day permeate the childish hours and leave you reflecting upon what you saw, did, or experienced. The almost ven diagram existence of these two personalities, if you will, makes Wendover and FNS what they are. I have not reflected on this complication in my life before, and I have just come to realize, that until the reflection has been noticed and digested, this age cannot be fully understood or harnessed.

I would not have come to realize this duality within myself had I not met the other couriers here. We cross a span of ages and a span of life stages. While we all exist in our own small worlds and are all so seemingly different in so many ways, it has been incredibly revealing to me the way in which, regardless of our different ages and stages, we can come together around the dinner table and have a conversation that expresses both sides of age that I mentioned above. For instance, this past week, two of the other couriers and I were waiting for a dinner party to be done so that we could do their dishes. While we waited we made tea and sat on the kitchen floor, relaying the details of your days, the romantic stories in our lives, and the funny moments we have stumbled upon. Amidst the mixture of digestion of terms and sights from the day with the giggles from bad break-up stories, I took a moment to realize the wonderful youth found within young women and the wonderful maturity found within the same young girls.

The complexity of life, and the stereotypes of age, are also made clear in the day to day work of a courier. Often I have witnessed prenatal care to a woman multiple years younger than myself. Until I see the birth dates written on her medical forms, the age is completely unknown. These young women, despite their youth, are giving birth and raising families, and are so mature and composed. Yesterday when I was shadowing the midwives I met a woman who was 20 years old and onto her fourth child under the age of five. I was stunned by her ability to lead her life with a control, stability, and composure that would suggest she was 35.

On the other end of this spectrum are the senior patients visited on home visits or seen in the nursing home. There is a youthful glint in their eyes and a desire to tell stories and crack jokes that only succeed in exposing their inner child. Last week I made a home visit to a woman who was 95; an age that I again did not expect or realize until glancing at her records. We had a variety of age conflicting conversations; one about her plethora medications and the lesion on her hand, and another about her chase with a cat, and her flirtatious banter with her husband.

Having frequent exposure to both of these age defying experiences has made me realize the continuity and resilient nature of childhood, and the deeply rooted and innate tendency to be grown-up. It has also made me understand and appreciate FNS and Wendover more, the way in which they allow us and encourage us to embrace, and in turn celebrate, our ages and our lives.

-frances